Sunday, May 17, 2009

How Comfortable is TOO Comfortable?

I know I have been MIA...but as promised, my continuation of my last entry...

Is there a specific time period you need to know someone before you can officially be called "friends?" Or a time when you can say you truly know someone?

I don't think there is a set time...some of us can become fast friends, opening up to each other right away and sharing intimate details right off the bat. However soon that may occur, what's the proper etiquette for being able to tell that new "friend" that they are full of it, or are being idiotic...basically call them out a way would a friend we've had for years...

For me, being able to do that takes some time. If I just met this person I don't know how they will react, maybe they don't speak fluent sarcasm like I do...I could potentially hurt and lose a potential friend. Not something I think is worth sounding smart or offering TOO much advice.

Sure, a nudge in the right direction and subtle hints are all fine and dandy, but flat out telling someone they are wrong, not cool. Imagine if you will, knowing someone for about a week and them telling you..."I like you, it's that simple. I'm just waiting for you to get with the program." That may not seem too out of the ordinary or rude, but in the proper context it was one of the most outlandish comments to make. Maybe after a month, but one week...please don't kid yourself in thinking you know someone well enough after that amount of time. ESPECIALLY if your only contact was through TEXT MESSAGES!

In my eyes and my way of thinking it is just to soon for that. For all you know the person could respond happily and say "OMG, I like you too!" which, in that case, congratulations! Your somewhat rude and very straightforward comment got you exactly what you wanted. BUT, there is also the risk that the person will react with a "Excuse me?" Then forcing you to run your mouth even more to the point where the person no longer wishes to speak to you or have any contact with you...

I'm sure you can all guess where this all came from and which way it turned out for me, lol.

For the record, I do cherish and appreciate someone who is honest with me, but they need to do it in a way that's suitable for my personality...and after one week there is no one who can figure me out that quickly. Being comfortable with someone takes time...and that's the beauty of friendships and relationships...the time you take to really get to know someone.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Text relationships

So not too long ago I went out to a lounge. I went with the girls, with no intention of meeting anyone. Although what single girl can honestly say the thought is not running around in the back of her head?? Anyway, it was a great night...we spent the majority of our time there drooling over the bartender and enjoying our drinks.

At one point I got up to use the restroom and unfortunately lost my seat at the bar. As I'm standing behind the girls, I guess I looked pissed off (I wasn't, it was just the way I was standing) and a guy approached me and asked if I was doing OK. When I replied with a puzzled look, he said I looked like I wanted to kick someones ass. I laughed and he took that as a green light to talk to me. So we spent some time talking, it ended up he lives in the same city I work in, and he seemed like an okay guy. After a little while he told me he was going to let me get back to my girls, and I did.

We enjoyed some more drinks, and I honestly forgot about the guy. We closed the place down, so as the bouncer is trying to get us all out, the guy comes up to me again. We talk some more and his friend comes up and asks if we exchanged numbers (we hadn't). I respond with a smart ass comment about how he never asked me for mine. The guy whips out his phone and asks. I thought he seemed harmless enough so I gave it to him. He sent me a text right then so I wouldn't forget about him (sounds kind of cute right?)

Anyway, for the next couple of days we sent an absurd amount of texts to each other. We were supposed to meet up, but things didn't work out. So we continued with the text messages. He said all the right things up to a point. Long story short, we are no longer talking...

But it got me to thinking about texting and how much we rely on texting. Don't get me wrong, I love being able to text people...I'm not the biggest fan of phone conversations. It's so much easier and way more time efficient to send a quick message. The funny thing about it is when people try to have those full conversations through texts. Yes I am guilty of it, but it's so ridiculous.

If you have that much to say, call the person! I can't tell you how many times I've heard stories or seen people who argue through texts, a lot of the time I don't think they even started out arguing, but because one person got hurt by a text or took a text the wrong way it turned into an argument or a fight. My question is how can we really know what the person meant through a text? You can't see their face, you can't hear the tone of their voice. We have to rely on caps and exclamations points to express emotions.

So I had a text relationship that lasted about a week before I got irritated with the fact that this dude couldn't pick up the phone and actually call me. Again, I love texting...but there's definitely a time and a place for it.

My next topic to come shortly, that coincides with this post is...How comfortable is too comfortable?? Think about it.


We left so many things unsaid.
We drifted so far apart.
We turned our backs,
And just walked away.

Instead of fighting, we fled.
Now I'm looking for a fresh start.
We let it slip through the cracks,
And left no reason to stay.

It's over and done.
You were never the one.
I'll always love you,
I'll always care,
I will always be a friend,
But our time together has come to an end.