Sunday, May 17, 2009

How Comfortable is TOO Comfortable?

I know I have been MIA...but as promised, my continuation of my last entry...

Is there a specific time period you need to know someone before you can officially be called "friends?" Or a time when you can say you truly know someone?

I don't think there is a set time...some of us can become fast friends, opening up to each other right away and sharing intimate details right off the bat. However soon that may occur, what's the proper etiquette for being able to tell that new "friend" that they are full of it, or are being idiotic...basically call them out a way would a friend we've had for years...

For me, being able to do that takes some time. If I just met this person I don't know how they will react, maybe they don't speak fluent sarcasm like I do...I could potentially hurt and lose a potential friend. Not something I think is worth sounding smart or offering TOO much advice.

Sure, a nudge in the right direction and subtle hints are all fine and dandy, but flat out telling someone they are wrong, not cool. Imagine if you will, knowing someone for about a week and them telling you..."I like you, it's that simple. I'm just waiting for you to get with the program." That may not seem too out of the ordinary or rude, but in the proper context it was one of the most outlandish comments to make. Maybe after a month, but one week...please don't kid yourself in thinking you know someone well enough after that amount of time. ESPECIALLY if your only contact was through TEXT MESSAGES!

In my eyes and my way of thinking it is just to soon for that. For all you know the person could respond happily and say "OMG, I like you too!" which, in that case, congratulations! Your somewhat rude and very straightforward comment got you exactly what you wanted. BUT, there is also the risk that the person will react with a "Excuse me?" Then forcing you to run your mouth even more to the point where the person no longer wishes to speak to you or have any contact with you...

I'm sure you can all guess where this all came from and which way it turned out for me, lol.

For the record, I do cherish and appreciate someone who is honest with me, but they need to do it in a way that's suitable for my personality...and after one week there is no one who can figure me out that quickly. Being comfortable with someone takes time...and that's the beauty of friendships and relationships...the time you take to really get to know someone.

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