No More Lies

If you see me cry,
I'm just trying to apologize,
For every single time I told you a lie.

When you asked if I was ok,
And I said yes with a smile on my face,
I said everything was fine,
I lied.

You said I looked upset,
Asked if I was angry,
And I said I was happy,
It was a lie.

Deep down you knew
That I was lying to you.
But please know I only did it in a vain attempt to protect my heart.

I was angry with you,
And I was not ok,
Not because you lied or treated me badly,
But because you made me fall
And want to give you my all
From the very start.

And when I said I didn't care,
That I was happy with you as only my friend,
That you weren't the only one I was seeing,
With every fiber of my being,
I lied.

As I sit here writing and reminiscing our "fling"
Maxwell's playing in the background, singing about pretty wings.
And I can't help but feel this is the end,
That you and I will never be anything more than friends.

But I'm not mad anymore,
You reminded me of the fun life can have in store.
You helped me open up again
And finally let someone in.

There are no more tears,
No more sad thoughts
There are smiles
And fond memories,
And silent thank yous for all you've done for me.

So it's time for you and I to spread our pretty wings
And fulfill our own destinies.
Because I can't look at you and pretend I don't have feelings...
All I ask is that you smile when you think of me.

And I promise I won't tell you another lie,
Which is why it's time for me to say good bye.

Something There

Deep down she knows there's something there.
But that he's just scared.
She knows it could be something real,
But he pulled away when he started to feel.

She's not going to beg,
Or ask him to care
Or force him to admit there's something more there.

But she silently prays
That he'll wake up one day
And open his heart
Like she had from the very start.

The hardest part
Is that she was ready from the start.
She's not going to change,
She'll always be the same.

She's someone he could trust
And not loosing her is a must.

But she won't beg
Or ask him to care,
Or force him to admit there's something there.

He pushed her away when he started to feel
When he realized it all felt too real.
Said she was the one to blame,
That he didn't feel the same.

But deep down she knows he was just scared
Because there was something more there.
That he was scared
To open up again
To let someone new in,
To admit that he actually cared.

But she won't beg
Or ask him to care
Or force him to admit there's something more there.

Untitled

I toss and turn all night filled with fear.
It's become so hard for me to sleep without having you near.
As soon as I feel you close to me,
I breathe a sigh of relief
And sleep comes to me.

All I ever wanted was for you to want me.
But I know that it's just not meant to be.
And now I can't put into words what I feel,
I can't tell what's fake and what's real.

You are sitting no more than two feet away,
And I'm silently praying you ask me to stay.
But I feel alone,
And feel the distance between us has grown.

What hurts even more,
Is that I know deep down in my soul,
That I could make you happy.
That I could be exactly who you are looking for.

I've changed to try and make you happy,
I've lied to you and I've lied to myself.
This isn't who I am,
It's not who I am meant to be.

All I want is for you to open your eyes
See past the lies,
And really look at me.
See that I'd do anything to make you happy.

I know it's not what you want,
So I'm going to take a few more steps back,
Get myself back on track.

I was angry that night,
But only for making me want you.
I didn't want to argue or fight,
So I said I was fine,
When deep down all I wanted to say was I wish you were mine.

I'm not ready to say goodbye,
But I don't know how much longer I will be able to survive.
I can't put how you make me feel into words,
Just know that I could be your girl,
And that if you let me, I'd give you my world.