Back to Basics

I went to mass today. The first time in quite a while. I had lost my desire to even go to church, I felt like I had lost my faith in it. I still prayed, and I still tried to live my life according to all the teachings I have learned throughout my life. But I never felt that going to church for one hour, once a week made me any better of a person. I still do feel the same way. We have adulterers, criminals and just bad people who think they can go to church on Sunday, sit through an hour of mass and they're automatically forgiven.

I believe with every fiber of my being that there is a God. There is a higher power. I had just lost my way, not caring to go to mass. Part of not wanting to go to church, was that it brought back bad memories for me. I would spend countless Sundays praying to God, asking Him to watch over someone very special to me. I was brought to tears nearly every Sunday. I needed some time away from that feeling.

Sitting in mass today, I got that familiar feeling. The warmth that I used to feel when I would be in mass. It felt good. It was good to be back. I still prayed for that person although he's not really a part of my life anymore, I still pray that God watches over him and keeps him safe and helps him find whatever it is he is looking for.

I doubt I will be at mass every Sunday, but I don't feel as hesitant about going. It really did feel good today. There were no tears, just that warm feeling like everything was going to be alright and things are going to be better.